Some things change and some never do!

Wow! It's been forever since I have blogged! In the words of the Homicide Hunter "My My My" quite a bit has happened since we last spoke!

Here it is long story short

My sons, 23 and 21 have moved into their own home and into stable lives! Yay! Our relationships have greatly improved! They have grown into responsible young adults who I am quite proud of!

My Hubby and I are still plugging along! Still very much in love and still very deeply into each other. Wow! I am even amazed at that one! I want to be with him 24/7! I can definitely say with assurance he is my soul mate!

We are in a great time of our life. Stress has eased up tremendously! And except for those pesky Student Loans, we owe very little debt! YAHOO! We are ready to enter the next phase of our lives. Time for him to pursue his PHD and time for me to retire and write!

Of course there is always something!  And it always begins and ends with an EX!!!!!!

Step daughter turned 18, time for her to graduate. Her mother talks her into waiting a year to graduate. SAY WHAT???? Yep the lazy roach made it so she could keep drawing child support! Step daughter will not turn 19 until next April! Can you even believe the length some custodial parents will go to keep that free money rolling in? Pitiful if you ask me. But not surprising. This winner of a female has spent the biggest part of her life taking and refusing to work. But enough of that!

What's even worse, now that she is of age and 18 the daughter was going to finally come and visit us in our home for a couple weeks this summer. Did it happen?

Of course not! Drama, Drama, and more drama ensued! These two females are so high strung and hysterical by the time all the demanding, screaming, and stamping of feet was done, she wasn't coming because she felt we should come to her town and stay for a weekend so she could get to know us again! Say what? "How Old are you honey?"
You're not 10! In fact she and her mother demanded us! My hubby said Nope! You want to come and be a part of my life, then come. If you don't like it or feel uncomfortable we will be bring you back home whenever you want. They couldn't even agree to that!

So fast forward to about 6 weeks later I of course became close to my step daughter and missed texting and talking with her. I sent a text to her and she replied "Who is this?"

Looks like she removed me from her contacts! Can you say Douchebag? Sorry I sound harsh, but it looks like I got used. Whenever she wanted me to buy her something or wanted something from me, she'd butter me up and I'd send it. Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree!

On the bright side of things! I don't have to deal with their shenanigans now! The sad part is that it has broken my precious Husband's heart! But we  move on and he is forming a close relationship with my sons, and I am happy about that!


The next several months I will be working on my health! Kids if you currently smoke, STOP! I spent several years smoking on and off since I was 15. I have now been blessed with COPD! It ain't pretty! I have my good days and my bad days!

These next 6-12 months are going to be spent with a nutritionist and a personal trainer as well as a respiratory therapist! I will get my health back!



 

My spouse's Psycho ex wife

I am certain that quite a few people deal with a psycho ex wife (either you were married to one, or your spouse was married to one).
I decided to do a google search on psycho ex-wives to see what popped up. To my surprise.....
I found that there are a plethora of them in the world! Wow I don't feel so alone! What is the definition of a psycho ex-wife?

The urban dictionary has this to say......

An unstable woman with a terrible personality disorder(Sociopath) who divorces you despite your efforts over more than a decade of marriage to "save things"(Yep he tried to save the marriage for 20 years. Love this man but he was an idiot for staying with the creature)for her and your children.(Thank God they only had one child) She then fights to keep the children away from you for no good reason and she abuses the legal system(North West Ohio) in order to do so because they favor psycho ex-wives,(We found this out to our dismay! Everything is stacked against us) even to the detriment of the children(She doesn't care about their daughter and what harm she is causing her, because it's all about the "Creature", the name we've given the ex) and then relentless torments you even though she got most everything she set out to do...(He left her with pretty much everything)  except KILL YOU... yet.(Oh I am certain she would do this except she is a coward and way too lazy to even make the attempt. Although we do know she has staked out our home with her lesbian girlfriend at least once)

Now some of you are probably saying how bad can it be? And some of you are saying, Oh it can be monstrous!(Befitting word since we do call her the creature) I knew going into my current relationship that there were going to be some problems. I had been friends with my current spouse a little over 6 years and I had known his story and the problems he had with his wife. After 20 years he finally decided he had enough of her lies and manipulation and decided to end the marriage.  Fast forward to almost 2 years later and I am sad to say that we are still dealing with this monster of a woman! I cannot even begin to list all the shenanigans we've had to put up with.(We even live in another state) All I can do is shake my head and wonder why? If her life is so damn wonderful and perfect why does she have to continually keep us in court? Keep him away from his daughter?  

It finally hit me today!  Here are the reasons this woman keeps harassing us

1. She doesn't want their daughter to find out the truth about all her lies and manipulation.

2. The more we fight, the more she wants to win and make us miserable.(Sorry honey but we are happy)

3. She thinks by keeping father and daughter apart that it will cause my spouse suffering and pain. (Sorry but he knows the truth will come out eventually and karma will get you)

4. She still wants to continue to control his life and make him(we) the bad guys. (The people who matter know the truth and know you are a sociopath)

In my life I have seen some crazy messed up women, but this woman deserves an Oscar for her role as the lazy-crazy-ugly(Inside and out) ex-wife She spends her days going to school and getting a worthless degree that  will never land her a job.(Can you believe she asked for 6 years of spousal support? My husband isn't a rich man nor is she incapable mentally or physically not getting a job. She's just a fat freaking lazy good for nothing). She lives off the government and there isn't a damn thing wrong with her. She pays for nothing.(She gets free medical insurance, food stamps, rent free, free college money, etc. you name it she gets it.) She is almost a half century old and has rarely worked or made a career for herself. She goes from hobby to hobby and then grows tired(Whenever she has to put effort into it) and then makes a revelation that, that career choice is not for her.  She presents herself as an empowered woman, but truly she is a kept woman. She in my opinion is a disgrace to all the single mothers who have worked hard to raise their children and made careers that would assist them in supporting their family.

I know I sound bitter don't I? My first marriage was a nightmare, and I crawled my way out of the darkness and made a life I am quite proud of. Why should I care if this woman is a pathetic wannabe poser who will no doubt come to the end of her life and say.......what a waste.

That is a good question....perhaps a question to ask my therapist next time I see . Think I am going to buy me a T-shirt that has this on it.........

It's always something, or a big fat Roach that invades your space and makes things icky!

They say it's always something, isn't it? Life seems to be going smoothly and then WHAM out of nowhere something happens or some things!

Some days I think why even bother we're all going to die someday anyway! At my age one would think I've got it all figured out. Life is easy. I'm living on easy street. Yes things are better now that I am older. I've a nice career, two sons who are adults and are beginning their lives, an awesome soul-mate (Whom I patiently waited for), both my parents are still living. I have furry children whom I love dearly, I've a home, a car, food, clothing, etc. So what's the problem?

Well ever now and then something comes along to upset the apple cart! And I freak out for a bit. After all these years and after all the bad things that have happened in my life I STILL FREAK OUT! WHY???? Shouldn't I be use to this by now? I know life is not perfect, it's never going to be perfect so why sweat the small stuff? Go with the flow, enjoy each day whether good or bad!

Easier said than done. Now I don't like to think I am high strung, I have mellowed out a bit thru the years, however I still tend to let things bother me and then I get upset, nervous, and angry. Does this help my situation? No, and I know this! Even after all these years of reading self-help books, meditations, interventions, therapy, yadda yadda yadda-I still have my moments where I think "THIS IS IT! I'M REALLY GOING TO LOSE IT THIS TIME." Then the waters calm and I am again sailing down my path with the sun shining on my face!


If truth be told I think I've done quite well for myself after all these years. There were many obstacles placed in front of me and I managed to keep plugging along. It's not often that I toot my own horn but I have to say in all honesty I am an empowered woman. I am proud of that. I have worked damn hard for what I have. I have raised two lovely sons, paid a mortgage on my house for over 20 years, stayed with my job for 25 years. Did I take risks? No I played it safe. I wanted my kids to have some stability. Life was difficult and money was tight and at times my health suffered and there were many times I just wanted to runaway from it all, but I made it through!

My first risk I took didn't come until I was 45 and that was a million to one shot. (Having my  current spouse move in with me) The odds were in my favor and I've never regretted a moment these past two years. In fact we plan to make it official in December. (Is it wrong for me to thank God everyday that his ex was a complete c**t?)

Speaking of Ex's...don't you just hate it when your significant other's ex won't leave you alone? I knew going into this relationship I would have to deal with a scorned ex-wife for a little while. Fast forward to  two years later and this woman is still making trouble for us! We have gone through a huge custody/visitation battle that should have never happened. (His daughter is 16 years old) The magistrate, GAL and anyone else in the court system (Will not divulge the city but it is located in North west Ohio) were openly hostile to us and we basically never got our day in court. Protective orders, emergency hearings, bogus kidnapping and death threats, you name it this loopy chick put it on us. The sad thing is his daughter is stuck in the middle. His visitation was 2 twice a month on Saturday for a period of 4 hours and we were required to make the trip from Indiana to Ohio. (How lame is that?)We were blocked from seeing her every time we turned around. The same excuses always...."We're busy, we can't, we're out of town that weekend."  I do believe there is a place reserved in hell for Women like this!


I have stayed silent for too long. I've kept myself out of the whole mess simply because the case was ongoing and I feared anything I said or did would be held against me. The court case is finished, we are done, we got nothing and now we wait for 1 1/2 years until daughter becomes 18 and then she can choose if she wishes to visit us. In the meantime I plan to proclaim to all of the world just what a piece of crap this woman is. She has literally told everyone who will listen to her that we were the evil ones, that I stole her husband and that he and I deserve to be cursed for the rest of our lives. (The truth was I stole no one, we were longtime friends and he was already out the door by the time romantic feelings arrived)  But hey if she wants to believe that, I am all for it! You practically gave him to me on a silver platter. How does it feel to be so unlovable and vile that he had to devise an escape plan?

Ever wonder how these type of people make it so far in life? There is no doubt in my mind  she is a sociopath or certifiably insane. You that are reading this are asking yourselves "Am I bitter?"  Yes I am bitter, this person should have moved on at least 1 year ago and she most certainly should not be keeping my husband from seeing his child whenever he wants.

I always allowed my sons to visit their father anytime he or they wanted.  He wasn't a very nice man and we had many problems in our marriage but I set my feelings aside. My ex however chose to see my boys as little as possible (Which made me sad for them)

Hopefully the roach will scurry away into the gutter where it belongs.

Hump Day!

Oh! Here we are Wednesday! The older I get, the faster the time goes! Do you ever have one of those days where you pretty much feel 5000 years old? You wake up and think...How in the hell did I get here? I was sure last night that I was only 16 years old. Now the morning is here and I have a mortgage, a job, a husband and Grown Kids! This morning on my way to work I was listening to the radio and a little ditty from 1982 comes popping on..."Sharif don't like it-Rock the Casbah, Rock the Casbah!" And of course the radio DJ has to remind me just how old I am by informing the listeners that  31 years ago the Clash made that song popular! 31 years ago I was 16 years old! God help me!

On my way to work I ask myself once again...HOW DID I GET HERE? Somehow I rationalize that I must have been lost in the Matrix for a while because certainly time would have moved slower? I have a 19 year old son and a 21 year old son. I am middle aged! I have wrinkles and lines on my face. I have aches and pains, I have to color my hair more often. I no longer can go days with very little sleep. Sometimes I complain that the music is too loud. Often I have hot flashes. Some days I avoid the mirror altogether because I fear of what's in the reflection. My past is like some kind of weird dream. Did it really happen that way? Did I actually do those things? Live that life? There were quite a few years that I was sick, depressed and oppressed. From about 28 till about 34 seems like a blur. There are days I want to go back and change some things. Or maybe just spend one day back when I was 16. I would make sure I'd tell my young self to not wish my life away. I spent most of the time wishing that I was 13, 16, 18, 21, wishing I was married, wishing I had kids, wishing I was divorced, wishing I was married again, wishing my kids weren't so little, wishing my kids were older, wishing I had a better job, wishing I lived in different place, wishing I were thinner, and now wishing I were younger!


Seems like my wishes never end....What do I have to show for my life? For a lot of years I felt I hadn't accomplished much. As I was driving down the road this morning I realized I am blessed...TRULY I AM.

I have a family that means the world to me and whom  I love. I have two handsome, kind, wonderful sons who grew into men that I am very proud of. I still have my parents and they are a joy to have around. I have a career that I am proud of. 25 years in the book business is quite an accomplishment in this day and age. I also live in a wonderful home, which might be rough around the edges, but it's mine and I have worked hard to keep it. I share my life with a beautiful soul inside and out. He is my soul mate. I waited a very long time for him to come along. Not many people have that happy ending with love, I am thankful that I am allowed to experience it.

So yeah I am blessed! I am happy and I am content!
Bring on the Grandkids and traveling adventures I am ready!

Dexter why?

Ok Why do I feel so cheated with the final episode of Dexter? As my dear hubby sat there gleefully smiling as all was revealed, I sat there stunned. "I hate this! I hate this! It's Sopranos all over again!" I yelled! My better half thought otherwise. "Yeah! I Love it! It's perfect! What a befitting way to end!"


Why? I stared at my dearly beloved, how could he even feel that way?  I said, "Look at him, he's so unhappy! I don't want Dexter to be unhappy! No one had a happy ending! No one! Not Deb, Not Batista, Harrison, Hannah, or Quinn!"

What does my sweetie say to this?  "How do you know Dexter is unhappy?  To which I said, 'Look at him! He is miserable! "

"Well maybe he was having a bad day? Hey it can't be that bad, he escaped, he can start over and begin the killing once again. He doesn't have to worry about people knowing! And besides he can tap a hooker from time to time when he gets lonely!"

And yet I still love this man! (He does somewhat make sense)

So maybe I am not so outraged? I've had time to ponder on the ending and realize that rarely in life do we get a happy ending. For 8 seasons I have loved Dexter and cheered when he killed the bad guys and bit my nails when someone got too close and was about to stumble on his secret. I have spent the last seasons also wishing they'd off Deb Morgan. That character was so annoying! She whined continuously, cursed profusely, couldn't pick a decent man if her life depended on it. I kept hoping that one of those diabolical killers that Dexter tracked down and killed would end my suffering and pain from watching Deborah Morgan and her desperate pathetic life! So finally the last episode I got to see it, and you know what? It made me sad! Who knew?

Ok Bring on Walking Dead and American Horror Story Coven!